The day Allen lost his pants
by Diana Wong
Summary: It's a cracky fic about Lavi having to know EVERYTHING. Oneshot. No pairings.


Hello and welcome to a very cracky fic! Written by me and my dear friend Allen (Anteli)! And she says mean things to me at the moment... And then apologises. So all is fine! This was made from weird thoughts and late work at the musical thingy. We wish you a very happy reading and give us all the reviews! ( Allen wants some reveouws though! )

* * *

The day Allen lost his pants

It all began a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun was shining and everyone at the order was out for a picnic. There were a damn lot of people. Lavi was chewing on some yoghurt that he had found in a basket.  
"Ew. This yoghurt is quite nasty." He said. Allen raised an eyebrow.

"Then why in the world are you eating it?" He asked.

"Because Bookman said that yoghurt is good for you." Allen merely sighed and he stood up to go over to someone to get something to eat. It happened to be a finder. That's when Lavi got this very weird thought… about Allen's… pants. They were so tight that he wondered if someone would be able to pull them down without unbuttoning them. He had to try it. He got up on his feet and waltzed right over to Allen from behind. Allen was happily receiving some cake from the finder when Lavi suddenly grabbed the hem of his pants and pulled them down.  
"Oh! It worked!" He said happily. The finder squealed and fainted from fanboying. Allen was too shocked to move. Lavi stared.  
"Uhm… Allen? Is that what I think it is?" He asked. Allen blushed.  
"No… It's not what you think!" He yelled. Lavi stood there silent for a moment.  
"… So… It's not panties with a cow on?" He asked. Allen felt the panic rising.  
"NO! I mean… No. It's not. It's uh… something… else."  
"What the…? Moyashi?" A voice suddenly said. Lavi decided to be helpful.  
"I'll pull up your pants for you." He said with a smile and did just that. Allen felt like he was going to cry so he did the only thing he could think of. He ran away. Kanda and Lavi looked after him.  
"That was panties weren't it?" Kanda asked.  
"Yep. It definitely was." Lavi answered. Someone had seen it all and was laughing his ass off in a corner. Namely Cross Marian. Lavi noticed this and decided to ask if Cross knew anything about this whole matter.  
"So… why exactly are Allen wearing panties?" He asked. Cross wiped away a few tears of laughter.

"I don't know, but damn that was priceless!" Komui, who came from nowhere, decided to butt in.

"Maybe he's secretly a woman?" He proposed with a happy face.

"That would explain why everyone asked if he was my daughter…" Cross said. Lavi shook his head.  
"I think I would have known if he was a woman. I'm a Bookman. I KNOW EVERYTHING." Kanda did a mental face palm.

"When exactly was the last time you saw Allen naked?" He asked. Lavi was just about to answer when he realized…  
"Oh god! I've never seen him naked! I need to look deeper into this matter!" He said and ran after Allen who was long since gone.

"I've got to see this. This is great blackmail material." Cross said with a grin and followed. A few finders had heard the whole conversation and decided to follow as well, because Allen is hot, right? So they all went back to the order to find Allen Walker, man or woman. No one knew at this point. Well… Someone knew, but decided not to say anything. Skipping over to Allen. He was hiding in the kitchen. Jerry was making him some pancakes to cheer him up since he had no idea what had happened. Allen was very much thankful for that.

"Why so sad Allen honey?" Jerry asked and handed him a plate.  
"I don't want to talk about it." He mumbled and accepted the plate. Jerry patted him lightly on the head before going back to work because Jerry, unlike most of the people at the order, was very understanding. A nice dude that is.

"Whatever may have happened…" He began and put the frying pan to the side.  
"…I'm sure it'll be alright." He finished. Allen sighed lightly.  
"I hope so…" He mumbled and silently left the kitchen.  
"Take care Allen honey!" Jerry yelled after him. Allen began to walk to his room, staring down at his plate. Maybe he should have taken a fork or something with him, but nope. Since this fanfic is a bitch he never got anything to eat with. He was about to open the door to his room when he saw something red in the corner of his eye, and the first thought he had was: SHIT. He threw the plate at the incoming redhead and fled to the library. He could hear a distant OW and very familiar laughter.

"After him… her… IT! It threw a plate on me! And wasted some good pancakes!" Lavi screamed. The finders pushed Lavi to the side and ran as fast as they could to the library, hoping to be the ones to undress Allen. Lavi quickly regained his posture.

"Hey!" He screamed and followed them. Cross merely followed them in his own pace. When he arrived at the library the first thing he saw was Allen being chased by at least nine people. The scene was quite amusing, but Cross decided that it would be a lot funnier if they actually were able to catch his pupil, so he decided to play some magic tricks by making Allen trip. Allen suddenly felt something connect with his foot, making him lose his balance and falling face first to the floor.  
"Caught him… her… whatever!" Lavi yelled striking a pose before starting to forcibly undress Allen. The finders felt very disappointed. They wanted to do the undressing after all. Allen was fighting to keep his clothes on.

"What the heck are you doing Lavi?!" He yelled in panic.

"I HAVE to know!" Lavi answered.

"KNOW WHAT?!"

"If you're a woman!" Silence….  
"What…?" Allen asked and stared at Lavi.

"Done!" The redhead yelled in success and held the panties over his head. It took a couple of seconds before Allen realized what just had happened.

"Oh… So you ARE male?" Lavi said and nodded lightly.

"Shut up! Give me back my panties... I mean CLOTHES! Give me back my clothes!" Lavi studied him for a while.  
"Hm… Okay ~" He said and handed the clothes back to Allen.  
"Look away!" Allen yelled. No one looked away, except maybe Cross. He was laughing too hard.

"Why are you wearing those panties in the first place?" Lavi asked. Allen took a deep breath.

"Because Lenalee is an evil bi… woman." He answered, holding his clothes, trying to cover himself.

"Okay? What has she done now?" Lavi asked and tilted his head to the side.

"I lost a bet. That's all you need to know."

"Can't you… un-lose the bet?" Lavi asked. Allen gave him an are-you-stupid look.

"Not that I have anything against panties, but… I think you'd look better in something with a bit more lace. Blue lace maybe. No… not blue… Hm.." Lavi said , studying Allen once again. Allen glared.

"Are you seriously trying to come up with a kind of women's underwear I should wear?" He asked.

"Yep." That answered earned Lavi a slap and Allen angrily stomped away, leaving the finders to look at his still naked butt.


End file.
